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Humanly Sports Pages – Issue 28

HORSING AROUND There was a short delay in the Badminton Horse trials this month, when Lord Equus broke a forelock and had to be destroyed and sold to a high

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Political Cartoon – Debt Banana – Issue 28

Evolutions (answers) – Issue 28

Answers to Evolutions:  1) To peter out. / 2) Head Over Heels

Where Are They Now? – Scottish Labour Party MPs – Issue 28

THIS MONTH: Scottish Labour Party MPs. The reconstituted Blairite, liberal-minded right-of-centre party which claimed to be opposing the Tories, even though they never challenged the way the Tories are applying

News Real 6 – Issue 28

NEWS FROM FAERYLAND The Department for Workless Pixies has issued an edict saying, “We need specialised help to enable these sprites to become useful and real contributors to society. We

News Real 5 – Issue 28

CLYDESDALE FINED OVER PPI MIS-SELLING Last month, Mr Edgar Edd, the CEO of the organisation, defended the actions of his minions, saying, “It’s a job and no shareholder complains while

FOI – Dennis A Pells – Uncommon Denominator – Issue 28

UNCOMMON DENOMINATOR A Salutary Tale by Jack Mienhoff Created by Dennis A Pells Chapter 5 In the twilight we gathered for out next challenge. “Tonight is the most important night

Political Cartoon 3 – Wilderness – Issue 28

“JC, did you see the LibDems in there?” “No, but I didn’t go in too far. However, I did see the Labour Party; they seemed to be going a hell

Jim Ladd – Issue 28

Here we are in the soon to be fractured countryside. This lovely place has been politically earmarked for dog-earing destruction in the name of opening up a new commercial enterprise

Our Man In Hiatus – Issue 28

What looked like things dissolved before I could touch them; shapes dissipated as soon as I looked upon them. There was a firmament of pulsating seconds yet the brightness was


Latest Issue

ISSUE 28 LATEST FEATURES: HUMANLY SPORTS PAGESPOLITICAL CARTOON Debt Banana - URBANE MAN COLUMNMEDIA PAGEMINI ADSPOLITICAL CARTOON (Wilderness) – NEWS REAL 1, 2. 3. 4. 5. 6, 7URBANE MAN COLUMN

COVER STORY: THE VALUE OF ‘X’

You know when we are being appealed to, encouraged to exercise our democratic right to express ourselves (read.more) ————————————————–

LITTLE EDITORIAL

Democracy, like an aged, infirm relative, has to be wheeled out and exercised every once in a while, if only to remind people that, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, it still exists. So it was then, that on the first Thursday in May this year, over forty-five million good, honest and true citizens of the United Kingdom (read more)
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THOSE ETHICS GIRLS

Scrooge: I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future! The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. O Jacob Marley! Heaven, and the Christmas-Time be praised for this!
Sheila: It’s a bad individual whose character is totally beyond
(read more) ————————————————–

SMELLY THUMB

by Nick Thomas – FOI
My father smoked a pipe. Every evening, after dinner, he would linger for a while at the dining room table, and smoke his pipe. Sometimes we sat around the table with him, the dinner conversation rolling over into the evening conversation. (read. more) ————————————————–

SPOT THE PRIMATE

spot the primateCol ————————————————–

POO CORNER

Weather or No
Ah, spring
and not a statistic in the sky!
ah, sunshine
and not a googleplex in my eyes!
A cool breeze, softly
reminiscent of winter
is talked down
by eager chatter of parties
flocking to the seaside,
hoping to run aground
on ice cream cones (read more)
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STALIN’S BREAKFAST

You know the song, ‘If you say Tom-a-to, and I say To-mato’,* well, this was in my mind the last time I sat down for the famous breakfast. This simple, playfully adversarial lyrical scene was played out as I took up my position as the sun was still rubbing its sleepy eyes. (read.more) ————————————————–

POPPYCOCK CORNUCOPIA

And they call it Poppy Love
Gathering at the Cenotaph
cynically knowing what it means
quietly hiding a cruel laugh (read more)

euclid


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FIFTH COLUMN

HUNGRY FOR WORKING GAMES And so, a new gameshow, or should that be gainshow? We may have thought of the concept before but hurriedly dismissed it as degradation and paucity of humanity, however, someone has submitted the concept to the BBC as a feasible entertainment. (read.more) ————————————————–

TRIP ADVISOR: A ROOM WITH A VIEW

A story by Pat McConnell FOI

‘See – I told you it was just around the corner’, said Charley.
‘That was 45 minutes ago’ thought Lucy as she hauled her case over the cobblestones sans wheels which had fallen off twenty minutes ago as they crossed the bridge over the Arno into Oltrano. (read more)

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OUR MAN IN HIATUS

What looked like things dissolved before I could touch them; shapes dissipated as soon as I looked upon them.
There was a firmament of pulsating seconds yet the brightness was subdued. My attention was drawn to those ‘stars’ that had just disappeared, leaving a momentary blackness, slightly darker than the night. (read more)
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AN INTERVIEW WITH RICHARD THE THIRD

Eds: Sit down, Dick.
R111: Where can I put my horse?
Eds: So, you got one after all. You can put it in the economy, that’s stable.
R111: Christus, that’s tortured punning. I got my horse and it didn’t cost my kingdom; (read.more) ————————————————–

helping
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UNCOMMON DENOMINATOR (CHs 5-7)

A Salutary Tale by Jack Mienhoff, created by Dennis A Pells FOI

In the twilight we gathered for out next challenge.
“Tonight is the most important night of your lives.” Seth shouted from the altar. “The lessons taught will be burned into your memories for eternity.” Seth narrowed his eyes. “Prepare yourselves. (read more)

Dawkins will turn Theist around 4 am on 19th December 2016 !

An interesting observation made by I. Milenkov Considering the erratic view of Dawkins on his own theistic beliefs, we collected data on his claims through the years in order to predict the Evolution of his Theism. We are using the scaling of Theism proposed by R.Dawkins himself [3]. However for the needs of the analysis we normalised this scale to [-1,0, +1] boundaries. (read.more) ————————————————–

WE’RE NOT GLAD THEY SAID THAT

“An exit from the bailout would give Portugal back its financial independence, allowing the country to borrow on the financial markets.” Online news sources.
Eds: Amazingly they call this independence! (read.more) ————————————————–

TWELFTH FIGHT

part the Seventh Frank, on the edge of town, on a hill, looking plaintively out across the prairie, drinking, trying to get thoroughly soliloquied. (read.more) ————————————————–

POLITICAL CARTOON

debt banana ————————————————-

JIM LADD

Here we are in the soon to be fractured countryside. This lovely place (read more) ————————————————–

JOS BITUMEN ARCHIVE

We’ve found a couple of poems that perfectly illustrate Jos’ determined contrariness when expected to conform to zeitgeist-type thinking. His ‘Oh,, What A Ring’ is his declining the position of Poet Laureate. (read.more) ————————————————–

SCENE FROM THE 21ST CENTURY

THE SCENE IS A LARGE HALL, PROBABLY A SCHOOL, AND THE STAGE IS QUIET NOW BUT HAS SIGNS OF PREVIOUS ACTIVITIES, PAPERS, ROSETTES AND MANIFESTOS CRUMPLED UP, SOME PULPED BY TEARS. (read.more) ————————————————–

EDWIN STARR COLUMN

Arm wrestling despair with a pencil in my hand.
Well, today’s the day. There’s a dread – and I mean Dread with capitalisation, though it needs explaining (read more)

THOSE ETHICS GIRLS (ISSUE 12.1)

(Outside Calais ferry port)
Lukasz: Madame? Sorry to…how do you say?…er, interrupt? Yes, I think.
We are here.
Lil: That’s quite all right, Lukasz. Thank you. You’re not interrupting
anything important. (read more) ————————————————– value of christmas——————————————————

THE TIMEPIECE (part one) – ISSUE 11

“So, as I said earlier, Simon, I have no worries at all about the quality of your
work. It’s excellent.” Patricia’s birdlike features scanned the notes in” (read.more) ————————————————– A prime example of political rhetoric from one of the ruling elite. Lest we forget, for fact’s sake! ————————————————–

THE MAN WHO LOOKED UP (ISSUE 4)

“Are you sure? We were due to start our meeting at nine thirty. We’ve lost eight minutes already.” “But what is eight minutes lost compared to a lifetime regained?” (read more) ————————————————–

PUB TALK – THE WRITERS AND EDITORS (MP3)

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ARCHIVE FEATURES: FOOTBALL CRAZY – ISSUE 11THOSE DAFT SOAP SUDS – ISSUE 11LETTERS, ISSUE 8SHARKEY – ISSUE 1POLITICAL CARTOON – ISSUE 19SUBVERTISEMENT (KOW TOW) – ISSUE 11 - ART AS EXHIBITION – ISSUE 20